Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
