I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
