Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
