I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
