She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i now understand why vodka
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