I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
