It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
