how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
