i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
