So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
