your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize