we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
