hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
