i just google imaged poop.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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