i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
