As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
