i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
