Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
