honey bunches of taint.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
