So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
