from now on my penis is your penis
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We got so high we made milksteak
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
