WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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