C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
