using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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