32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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