Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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