Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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