i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
