how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
