is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
