Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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