honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
