I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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