His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
