I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
