I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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