Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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