also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
