In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
