so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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