Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
