i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We're too hungover to prance.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
