i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize