even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
