this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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