Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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