I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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