I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
