I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
