She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
