Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
