Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ketchup is God's man juice
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
