I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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