would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
