I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
