Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
