nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
