last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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