Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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