Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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