Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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