Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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