My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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