i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
