I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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