So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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