4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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