so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My legs feel like baby dolphins
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
