My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
A+ Viking dick
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
