dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
