I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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