Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize