dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
