There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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