I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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