The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
