Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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